So I’ve been reading some ancient Sumerian texts. I don’t really have any good reason as to why. It’s there for free on the internet, so why the Hell not? These were originally written on clay tablets thousands of years before air conditioning and now they share the same digital space as the universe’s largest collection of cat videos. It truly is amazing just how far we have managed to come. Ancient Egypt would have went bonkers for the cat videos alone. Ancient Egyptians liked cats, or at least I assume they did.
While interesting, these ancient writings had less to do with summoning antediluvian demons that will possess your girlfriend and more to do with how much it costs for a sorcerer to get rid of the locusts plaguing the fields of your farm. As it turns out, the price is one tall palm tree. Yeah, that doesn’t make much sense to me either, but this was six to five thousand years ago. For all we know palm trees were the Tickle-Me Elmo of Sumer. That was of course, before the decidedly less popular Tickle-You Elmo.
The translation I am reading is from 1917, so its probably no the most current and up to date but good enough for me. What’s interesting is there is commentary and explanation of what you are about to read. The interesting thing is the writer casually assumes that there would be more discoveries of even older civilization in Asia or Africa. He doesn’t go into a crazy Atlantis rant, he just assumes that the story of Oannes relates to an actual person on a boat from another civilization unknown to us. Once again, possibly from Asia or Africa. There are a lot of stories about a great teacher such as him from all over the world. These are not popular views these days, but its interesting how casually these thoughts were thrown around in the early twentieth century. By the way, Oannes was half-fish and half-man.
Before you write this off as a stupid, pointless and entirely random post on a shitty blog, I ask you to remember one thing. You now know how much it costs for a sorcerer to rid a farm of locusts in ancient Sumer. How fucking cool is that?